Visitation with Aria, 25th of September.

Daddy Den!

We have completed a total of 22 visitation with Aria. Most of them with the police present. All with a visitation supervisor, many times two of them. Sometimes also with psychologists. Always with Arias trusted person present or at least close by. All visitations have been very good. We have been evaluated to be sensitive and to have a good interaction with our daughter by almost all of the people that have been present. Our last visitation was this Monday. It has been "only" a month since last visitation. Aria recognized us and it was unnecessary to have her trusted person present. (which everyone knows is the sister to the foster mother, but we're not supposed to know this) The visitation lasted for two hours, two hours with playing around, having fun, drawing, reading, a lot of laughter, face painting and our little princess calling us mommy Vibeke and daddy Den. Proud parents. She sure is making the visitations good for us, easy to play with, active and creative as she is. A cute little troll who spreads joy around in the room. My daddy heart pounding a little extra and I am both proud and love her so much. Recognizing that Vibeke and my love has resulted in something so beautiful! A fantastic visitation where also the Barnevern states that the visitation was good and we are showing good skills in every way. She lets us pick her up and play airplane, holding her high up, so high it tickles in the stomach. Surely, that girl is not scared of us at all!Higher! Much Higher! Was the only thing that could be heard thru her, beautiful and hypnotizing laughter.

Torture

After the visitation is over, it is just unreal. She is not here with us and it is a long time to the next visitation. It's not empty, it is an intense pain that makes it hard to exist. Just to breathe, to even think is an unbearable torture. I wonder if the people that has inflicted this pain upon us have any idea of what they actually have done? Have they ever experienced this kind of pain? I seriously doubt that! Do I wish that upon them? Yes, cross my heart I honestly do. I don't wish this upon the children, but those who have done this to us-Yes, indeed! And they know, everyone involved, that this whole situation is incorrect. They see it during the visitation, they see it on all the reports about us. But still, we are stranded here, with the grief and the pain. Feeling how it's tearing us down, also physically. Grief and anger are heavy burdens to carry.

The rage

I'm the first to say that such pain is ok to inflict on the parents, if one actually saves a child from a poor upbringing. And sometimes it has to happen, abuse of substances, violence, neglect is something children never should grow up with. I also know that some of the people who are screaming on the internet about how the child protection services is useless and steals children, have themselves exposed their own children to harmful care. Therefore, it feels even more insane to us who have been victims of a miscarriage of Justice to be put in the same box as these people. That fact that we, whom now have 8 professionals evaluated us to be highly competent parents, are deprived of our child, shows the system failure and the insanity in this system. I'm not only angry, I am furious. Furious that no one is stopping this. Furious for what they expose my child to. That her memories of her parents the first years will be from a public office with a police guard present. Furious that my dear Vibeke is made to feel nervous, scared and often feeling inadequate. Furious that they have taken from me my role as a dad for Aria. Furious about the fact that they steal, every day a little more, our opportunities to have a trusting and close relationship with our daughter. Furious for how they have splintered our family. Furious that I have to spend my life fighting this fight, against a supreme power that does everything it can to destroy us and to be right. I've never been so angry in all my life as I am upon this system and no one, NO one takes responsibility for what they are inflicting on us and others. The people who have done this can live their lives without this pain and maybe even get to hear that they are doing a good and important job of protecting children.

I cannot of course, display these normal feelings, then I would be stamped as uncooperative.
Why no one stops this madness is unbelievable!
And to all of you whom do not want to engage yourselves in this injustice I'll just quote Øverland:
"You must not tolerate so well the injustice that doesn't affect yourself"