Visitation 18/07-2016 Barnevernets assessment
of this visitation
Assessment of the visitation:
Barnevernet (BV) consider this to be a very good visitation for Aria and others involved. BV consider that both the mother and father is sensitive towards Aria and her signals and expressions throughout the whole visitation, and are responding immediately towards her signals. This also applies when Aria is giving signals that she needs a " break" in her playing and/or interaction. The parents are adjusting the intensity in their play with her in a good way. The mother was taking a more prominent role than the BV-representative has seen before ( the representative was not present during the last visitation). The mother appeared to be very warm (eye contact, body language, mimicry, voice) in her interaction with Aria, and Aria seemed to be feeling safe around her, and also seeking support from her. The latter became evident when Aria used the mother as support when greeting the Security-guards present. BV consider the mother appeared more assertive than she might have done earlier. BV consider that the father held himself a bit in the background to let the mother and Aria play/have a good time-without ever loosing the focus on Aria, and also he commented on how clever and nice she was-and the good interaction she was having with the mother. BV is considering it has a positive effect on Aria that the parents are switching between who is playing with her, like they did during this visitation. It is considered to be easier/safer for her to relate to, and the playing does not become to intense/exhausting. Aria was awake and in a good mood the whole time-only in the last minute she gave signals indicating she was tired.
BV wishes to underline the way the parents handled the situation where the visitation was postponed in the last second. The parents became, understandably, disappointed, given the message about the postponement, but accepted the BV decision. This was even though they did not agree about the necessity of the police present.
So, still once more, the BV can not seem to find a single mistake in our
visitation and interaction with Aria. We are sensitive, reading her
signals and making this visitation into two very good hours for Aria. It
is strange though they did not find our interaction with Aria this good
during the time the case was in the justice system.
So what happened? Did we change that much? We have not received any guidance or therapy. Perhaps the case-workers just didn't want to see it before because they had pre-judged us.
This sensitive and good interaction we are showing during the visitation, and we have showed the whole time (also stated by the court appointed psychologist) are according to researcher Lars Smith, often very difficult to change because it is often not intentional or conscious. It is intuitive, and it is the basis for being good parents.
Which is what we have
always been, and hopefully always will be. Aria belongs in our family,
we are predisposed to know her best, we are predisposed to have an
intuitive, good interaction with her based on both her temper and
character, and our temper and character.
We are biologically connected in a way no foster parent ever can be.